in favor of one's right to bear arms

Peanut and I took a little walk around our small neighborhood this afternoon to enjoy all of the halloween decorations our neighbors love to put up each year.

there were ghosts and goblins hanging from trees, pumpkins stacked by doors and windows, cobwebs everywhere, and lots of faux tombstones with funny sayings on them.

all pretty standard stuff, nothing too creepy or scary.

but then we came upon an empty house.  the owner has been renting it out periodically for a while now and when it's empty, it shows, particularly with the lack of lawn maintenance.

today there was a car in the driveway and what appeared to be the scariest halloween decoration i've ever seen:

*Note: this is not a photo of the actual animal spotted today; this photo came from here. i don't normally carry my camera on walks around the neighborhood; i think that just changed, though.

i stood there for a moment, staring at this completely still...thing, trying to figure out whether or not it was real. 

it wasn't moving.  at all.  it was in a crouching position, appeared to have something in its grip, didn't move a hair.

i saw a couple of guys standing in a driveway a couple of house down, so i grabbed Peanut's hand and we made our way over to them.

i said, "hey, do you guys know who takes care of this house over here?"

one of them said, "yeah, i do, what's up?"

"i know this is going to sound ridiculous but i don't know if this is a halloween decoration or if it's real, but there's a 'possum in front of the door."

"it's there?!?  it was sick the other day, i thought it might have died."

ummm...so clearly it's real....ummm....suddenly i have no idea what to do....

i'd love to tell you how this story ends but i really have no idea because i've been holed up in the safety of my house as soon as the words "oh yeah, it's still alive" came out of the man's mouth.

i do think, however, that this, in addition to the these posts, is mounting evidence in favor of a move northward.  they don't have 'possums in new england, do they?

welcome to the jungle

i was cleaning out my guest room/play room/home office this afternoon when i came across a little something that looked like this:

um, holy shit balls.  (thank you, bethenny frankel, for that, btw)

in case you're unfamiliar with this particular brand of evil, that, my friend, is a brown recluse spider.

and it was about as large as that photo up there.  which means it might be something different because everything i've found on the net says that brown recluses don't get much bigger than a quarter.  

the one i saw was, with legs extended, as large as my hand, fingers stretched out.

but that shudder is exactly shudder what it looked like.

so if you know anything (or know someone who knows anything) about spiders, tell me what the hell that thing is - please!

in the meantime, i've called our exterminator and since it's the weekend, i had to leave a message; but i expect (read: hope) that they'll be out here tomorrow morning, first thing, to do away with all things eight legged.

and in other news...

peek a boo!

this guy was hangin' out on my husband's smoker this afternoon.  he's an eastern lubber grasshopper and measured somewhere around 4 inches in length.

given my earlier run in with Evil McSpider, there's no way in hell i would've gotten anywhere near this thing, but there was a window separating us so i felt safe(r).

i thought he was kind of cool (to look at, not befriend or anything).

but i have to ask - WTF is up with all these flippin' animals around here lately?  i half expect Marlin Perkins to arrive at any moment.

and oh god, i hate to even think it, let alone say it outloud but what's next?

knock knock!

who's there?

turtle.

turtle who?

no, really...

this guy (or gal, i'm not into sexing turtles so i have no idea how to tell) was trying to get into my house the other day.  some friends were leaving after a playdate, they opened the door and there he was, strong arming his way into my house. 

seriously. 

as soon as the door opened, he wedged himself between the door and the thing on the floor that keeps drafts out.

he wanted in.  bad.

and ya know why?  

cause it's effing hot out there. 

after i put him outside, he felt the white hot heat of the sun on my sidewalk and made his way to cooler grounds.

and then he burrowed under one of my plants, where he remained for several hours.

he finally left sometime after 4:30 in the afternoon.  i like to think he went pool hopping around the neighborhood and had himself some big fun. 

just not my pool.  cause ew.

oh and guess what?

turtle butt!